this hour

"Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason that I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

I love my dad. He is so many things to me. My dad. A confidant. My number one fan. A teacher. A mentor. A support. A role model. A hero. A friend.

July 21st: I got a call from my mom wondering if Heather and I could meet and talk with my parents in person the next day. My gut-reaction was "this can't be good."

July 22nd: My gut-reaction was confirmed. My dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Cancer? Cancer.

After that, Heather asked most of the questions, my mom answered. Dad and I just sat there in silence. Cancer? It's been almost three months and I still can't convey my thoughts and emotions from that day. I just remember the overwhelming weight of the fear I felt. I spent the next few days and weeks researching prostate cancer, praying for my dad, and trusting that there was a plan. My parents spent those days and weeks meeting with oncologists, radiologists and other "-ists"; praying; and trying to find the best plan.

September 30th: Surgery, City of Hope. All over friends, family, acquantainces, and complete strangers prayed for dad and his doctors. Dad and mom got there at 5:30am, Heather, Sean, Jenna, and I got there around 6:45am. Dad was already being prepped for surgery. He did call right before they took him back, but only mom got to see him. 10:45am Doctor came out and said surgery went well and commented that dad's in really good physical shape which helped. 11:45am Dad is brought from recovery into his room. He sleeps most of the day, waking up only when the pain made him.

He was released from the hospital the next afternoon and came home to begin the healing process. The thing about dad is that he has a high tolerance for pain; doesn't react well to pain medicatoin; and doesn't communicate when he is in pain. So it's hard to really guage how much pain he is in.

October 6th: Post-operation meeting with COH staff. Turns out cancer had spread into the fat and/or tissue immediately surrounding the prostate. That means radiation treatment, but his doctors aid that would take care of the rest of the cancer. That was a blow to what we hoped was going to be a "one and done" type cancer surgery.

October 14th: Mom calls right before our small group started. Dad's leg is swollen, which could be a sign of a blood clot, which can be a side-effect of any surgery. The ER is busy, so it takes a long time to get tests done, but they finally decide to admit him and run some more tests.

That's where we stand now. Dad's in the hospital (Los Robles), mom is there as well, I'm sure, and I cannot sleep.

At our small group, I shared what was going on with my dad. I also told them that my biggest prayer for this trial is that God is glorified through this. I said I didn't know what that looks like in this situation, but that's what I want. Kasey shared a verse from John 12:27. It says "Now my heart is troubled, and what shall I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? No, it was for this very reason I came to this hour. Father, glorify your name!"

Take my life and let it be
all for you and for your glory
take my life and let it be yours

stolen spotlight

"Taylor, I’m really happy for you and imma let you finish, but Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time! One of the best videos of all time!"

First, I'll say that this is a little bit delayed... I mean, it happened almost a month ago. But I was thinking about it today...

I heard someone say that it wasn't whatKanye said. It was when he said it. They said that his message wasn't necessarily bad (the message being "Beyonce had one of the best videos of all time"), just that he delivered it in the middle of someone else's acceptance speech. Had he said this same thing at another time, it would have been fine.

The message of Christ is similar to Beyonce's music video. Too often, it seems that Christians choose the wrong opportunity to share Christ with others or put him on display. Kanye interrupting Taylor Swift is like the guys I saw outside of a sporting event a few years back. They were literally yelling at the fans as they left the game, telling everyone within earshot that they were going to hell and needed to repent.

The message was essentially: "Jesus came to save you." The message is true! The timing is... not. Ephesians 4:15 (NLT) says "speak the truth in love."

We have the choice. Steal the spotlight and force people to hear our message or earn the audience's respect and attention and then share the message of Christ in love.

Learn from Kanye's mistake. People don't respect the message that's given in a stolen spotlight.